Looking into her eyes
Her gray tired eyes
I know she recognizes me
She’s a fighter
Always has been
She sees me
She always has
So fragile
Yet so strong
She clings to the familiar
I miss your voice
I miss your loving scolding
Your witty remarks
He spoke
He spoke of hurt
Hurt that came from my words
Words that left marks on his heart
The heart that I want so badly to love me
Quietly I listened
Now we speak
We speak like dedicated peace keepers
Peace keepers on guard
On guard and armed with weapons
Weapons of formality
Patiently I wait
Thought I could do it all
Thought I could get through it all
Thought you would hold my hand
Guide me through it
Got selfish
Let you drag me through it
Kicked and screamed
As you pulled me through it
So selfish
I pushed you away
So selfish
I made you stay
So selfish
So selfish
Take what you need from me…
I’m broken already
The pieces just make it easier for you to pick and choose
Most of it hurts anyways…
I want help
Real substantial help
I want someone to recognize how stressed I am
Someone to truly see how much I’m struggling
Someone to say to me,
“No, I’ve got this, you need a break”
I want someone to be the responsible adult for the next two years while I finish up my degree
Someone to help me take care of Nora and not make me feel guilty for leaving to study
I want genuine guilt free help
Your growing so fast
I wish I could stop time
I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to me
You are my only reason
My every motivation
My everything
Just you
Everything
Every little thing I do
Is for you
No time to think things through
No time to regret
No time to feel
No time, Just go
Until I lay my head down to sleep.
The flood…
Emotions rip
The pain surfaces
My heart aches
My head drowns in memories
No day off to morn
No day off to be depressed
No day off to give up
Just keep going
Keep going for her
Keep going for Nora
10 days went by with out you
10 numb days
10 days of drowning myself in music
10 noisy days
10 days more without you…
….
Silly girl, he doesn’t care…
To my love,
Adapting Not Conforming 